At any age, loss of sexual feelings can be related to problems in the past and may be completely unrelated to your current partner.
This is often described as a ‘loss of libido’. There are no physical signs or symptoms. In young women, unless you have other health issues, it is likely to be a purely emotional condition. There is no drug treatment available but you can get help and support from a psychosexual counsellor. At any age, loss of sexual feelings can be related to problems in the past, possibly unconnected to your present partner. It can also be caused by problems within your current relationship. You only need professional help if the problem continues for a long time.
Women who have a history of violence or sexual assault, no matter how long ago it was, may lose interest in sex immediately after the event and possibly long afterwards. Sexual assault and violence can impact on women and their sexuality in complex ways.
When you get older, your libido can be affected by hormonal changes during menopause, any illnesses that cause pain, fatigue or loss of function, or it may just be over-familiarity with a long-term partner. The loss of health or a loved partner, loss of material goods and past losses such as abortions or miscarriages can, in later life, affect your present-day sexual relationship.
Good psychological or psychosexual counselling can help you came to terms with the past, and improve the present. Often in a longstanding relationship, sex just becomes ‘boring’, over-familiar or irrelevant. If both partners feel the same, then there is no problem. If, however, one wants sex and the other doesn’t, it can put enormous strain on the couple. Talking with each other about your sex lives and feelings may make the situation a little easier. Some couples might also consider counselling.
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